Procrastinations of a Tired English Teacher

I've Moved

2007-04-07T22:01:00.000-05:00

I decided to finally take the plunge. My new digs can be found at http://kimmi-san.com

An Inconvenient Letter

2007-04-07T10:31:00.000-05:00

Dear Mother Nature,

Do you hate me? This past year, all I wanted was to have a white Christmas. But no. On Christmas, it was 53 degrees. Instead, you seem to feel the need to give me a white Easter. WTF? Is this my punishment for not recycling that one bottle last week?

Sincerely,

Kim L.

Conjugating a strange day

2007-04-05T21:55:00.000-05:00

Strange - I was telling my dad that I can't sleep at night, mainly because I hear Glitter Sister whose up all night. My dad told me I should drink wine and smoke a little pot before bed - and meant it.

Stranger - I was almost taken out by a pigeon. As I was walking to my car, I started to open the door when I noticed that a crazed, psychotic pigeon on a direct trajectory toward my forehead. My only thought? After all the crap I've dealt with, this is how I go?? Fortunately, I was able to duck, and the bird nailed the fence behind me instead. Here's a weird thought - is the word "stupid" implied by the word pigeon?

Strangest - I'm addicted to this show on the Discovery Channel called "A Haunting". No, that's not the strange part. Well, maybe it is. You can decide later. Anyhow, the show recreates people's experiences living in haunted houses. Most episodes end with the families fleeing in terror from the house. Usually I have sympathy for these people, but today? Not so much. You see, today's show profiled the stupidest people in America. The couple was looking to buy a house in New England, and the realtor was showing them a 100+ year old fixer-upper. Then came some clues that they should never in a million years buy that house.

Clue #1 - The realtor told them that she'd been in the house once, but would never go back in. She refused to explain.

Clue #2 - The family living in the house had boarded up all the upstairs doors and was living in the living room on mattresses with sheets over the doorways. The family repeatedly told the couple that they were not allowed to go upstairs.

Okay, let's think about this. It's never a good sign when the *realtor*, you know, the person who's trying to sell the house, won't set foot inside. Secondly, even if you don't believe in ghosts, why would you buy a house that a psychotic family has just lived in?! They would know where you live!! They could come back and kill you in your sleep! So anyway, the stupidest people in America buy the house, and of course, the spooks come out to play. A lot of them. The kicker? After the couple had lived there for several years and had been scared out of the wits most days, a realtor came to them with an offer from a man to buy the house for twice what they paid. They turned it down. Come on people! Even if your house isn't haunted, that's a pretty hard offer to pass up. Apparently, after a "successful exorcism", the couple still lives there with their kids. Like I said, normally I have sympathy for these people, but not today. These idiots deserved every ghost, ghoul, and bump in the night they got!

Cutest. Kid. EVER.

2007-03-30T17:56:00.000-05:00

Maybe I'm a bit biased, but isn't he adorable?? His name is Alasdair, and he's the son of one of my best friends. Unfortunately, Alasdair and his family live in California, which is way too far from my house. But the good news is that they're in visiting this week! YAY!!!! The other night, I got to play with Alasdair and hold him. I just love that kid. He's such an easy-going baby, and he's so easy to be around. He's 10 months old, and just learned how to crawl. It's hysterical to watch him. He's pretty mobile, but doesn't quite have it down yet. His dad calls it the "wounded army man crawl". That about covers it, all right. I wish they lived closer so that I could see him more often, but since they can't, I'll just enjoy the time I do have with him. I keep trying to convince his mom to get a blog. That way, I could here all the Alasdair stories she has and see all the pictures. Peer pressure! Maybe one day...*cough* Shelley *cough*

Wednesday with the Cap'n

2007-03-28T16:29:00.000-05:00

Crap. I hate Wednesdays. I have the most horrible professor in the world. He makes us call him Captain. Yeah. Why you ask? "To show respect for the 3 years I spent overseas defending your freedom." Uh-huh. I have a feeling that by "defending your freedom" he means a nice tour of the Mediterranean. Secondly, he's an NRA instructor. The worst part? He hates liberals and bashes them for all 3 1/2 hours of class. The funniest part? His nose is blue. Literally blue. I'm not quite sure why, but it sure distracts me from learning in his class. You'd think this would be fun. I could so easily torment him, but the problem is that he has the power over my grade. With one swipe of his pen, he could destroy my 4.0. Like I said, crap. The worst part is what he did to me last week. He gave me a B on my speech. This is what he wrote in big bold letters on my paper - BLEEDING HEART LIBERAL. Granted, I am one, but why is that such a bad thing? Why should I be punished for my beliefs when he specifically stated that he was not grading our speeches on ideas? What a turd.

Greatest. Mom. EVER.

2007-03-23T13:52:00.000-05:00

My mom is the best mom in the whole world. Last Saturday, I had to take the Praxis for teaching certification. I had to get up really early, and of course, it had snowed all night. My mom told me the night before that she'd get up and start my car. I told her that she really didn't have to do that. But when I got up, the lights were on downstairs. I figured that she got up, started my car, and went back to bed. When I looked out the window, sure enough, my car had been started. At this point, I'm thinking my mom is a goddess. My car was still covered in snow, but I didn't care because it would be warm when I got in. When I went down to my car, I pulled on the handle to get in, but the car was locked. As I was fumbling for my spare key, I heard a knock...from the inside of the car... and a voice that said "Honey? You have to go in through the back. I'm locked in." My first thought? "Oh dear god, I found Mom." How did my mom get herself locked in my car for 35 minutes you ask? Well, let me explain. My car is old. Really old. The locks freeze when the temperature drops below 30, even if there is no ice. Furthermore, I have a hatchback, but you can't open it from the inside because it's so old. Therefore, when my mom couldn't unlock the doors, she climbed through the hatchback. However, she didn't open it fully, so when she stepped on the back seat, the hatchback slammed shut on her. So, for the next 35 minutes, she was stuck in my car until I rescued her. Here's when I feel really badly. You see, I know the trick to getting out of my car when this happens. I just never shared this information with anybody because I didn't think anyone else would ever need it! I was wrong. When I asked my mom why she didn't use the horn, she said it was 6 am on a Saturday morning and she didn't want to wake the neighbors. Also, she liked the CD I had on. Glad I could accommodate you, Mom. Here's the kicker. After I freed her from my car, she insisted on cleaning my car off, and just told me to do well on my test. Can you see why I now have to get her the best Mother's Day gift EVER????

Housekeeping

2007-03-20T18:02:00.000-05:00

Overall, I'm pleased with the new look. Every year or so, I get sick of my template and completely change it. It must be the change of seasons. I always do this around the first day of spring. Anyhow, what do you think?

Didja miss me??

2007-03-20T14:05:00.000-05:00

Come on, admit it. You did. This is actually embarrassing. I can't believe that it's been almost a whole year since I last posted. So much has been going on. I'm still working at Barnes & Noble. I also run children's bookclubs at my local library. With all of this, I also decided to go back to school to get certified to teach high school. Sleep is in high demand these days. I'll talk about all this in the coming days. I swear.

Anyhow, I thought about switching to Wordpress. I even went so far as to get an account, but then I figured, why bother? Blogger is more user-friendly, and my blog is already set up. I tried to import this blog into Wordpress, but it refused to let me. Screw it. I'm probably just going to stay with Blogger. However, I did have to upgrade this blog, and in doing so, all of my comments go erased. Oh well. You win some, you lose some. Okay, I'm going to go play with the template some more.

Celebration!

2006-04-09T19:28:00.000-05:00

Happy Adoption Day Lucie!!

Not Okay

2006-03-29T00:38:00.000-05:00

If I have any hope of sleeping in the next week, I need to get my thoughts out of my head. I don't know where I got the stupid idea that things need to be okay with me all the time. No matter what happens, it's fine. But the thing is, it's not always fine. It can't possibly be. So I don't know why I always pretend that it is. I think half the time I do it for my mom. Not that my mom can't handle anything. It's just that she ends up feeling so badly for me that she feels worse that I do. Then I feel badly for making her feel badly. It's a vicious cycle. So, instead of dealing with all this, I just tell her it's fine. Somehow this habit has carried over into everything else.

What brought one this middle of the night epiphany? My boyfriend and I broke up tonight. I called my friend Julz and told her. Then I filled her ear with a bunch of rationalized bullshit. I told her it was mutual, which is kind of true in the sense that I knew he just wasn't that into me. I knew it. I just hoped that if I ignored that long enough, he'd never mention it. But he did, and here I sit writing. I still believe some of what I told her, like that fact that I think I may have liked the idea of him more than the guy himself. But still, I cared about him. It wasn't love, not by a long shot. But still, I cared. A lot. So, after hanging up with Julz, telling her "It's fine. It's fine," I realized it wasn't. And you know what? It doesn't have to be. This hurts. Bad. I hurt. And let's face it. It's kind of embarrassing too. It's going to take some time, tears, and a lot of chocolate to get over. And I know that I will get over it. Knowing me, fairly soon too. I'm just going to need some space and a few friends' ears (charge your cell phones, guys). I know things will get back to the point of being truly fine, even better than fine...eventually...

Gainful Employment

2006-03-28T15:47:00.000-05:00

Welp, it's that time of year when my finances go from poor to nearly nonexistant. So, I went and got myself a job at Barnes & Noble. I'm actually kind of excited about this. Kind of. At least I get to work in the children's section. And I get to do story time on Saturday mornings, which is great because all those little kids are really cute. I picked the bookstore because of my love of... okay my obsession with books. Is it bad that when I got the job my first thought wasn't "Gee, now I'll be able to actually pay my bills", but "Employee Discount!!!!!" (complete with drool and everything)? I'm beginning to wonder if I'll be bringing home a paycheck every two weeks or just a huge bag of books. Oh, the possibilities!!

Creative Slump

2006-03-24T19:15:00.002-05:00

I am in a total blog slump. I'm not entirely sure why. I have stuff to blog about. I just don't feel like it.

So, my goofy dog has now decided that she owns the bed whether I'm in it or not. You see, the head of my bed is against my front bedroom window. Lucie likes to lay on the pillows and look out the window all day. It's like The Discovery Channel for dogs. Now that it's getting light so early, the dog's waking up at around 6. This is totally not cool. Instead of waiting for me to get up, she simply comes up and sits on my head. She is completely fine with this. I am not. This is bad. I'm losing my power over her. Hey dog! Respect my authoritay!!

Secondly, I live in a small community not far from Pittsburgh. It's suburbia, or as SJ calls it "White People Land". It really is too. Case in point. About 5 or so years ago, the local school district built a new elementary school. The old one has been up for sale since. Several months ago, a Pittburgh-based Islam group bid on the building. This is the first interest that has ever been shown in this building. Naturally, this did not sit well in White People Land. There were many protests made at community meetings and such. OMG! They could be terrorists!! Or worse!! They could MOVE HERE!!! Watch for falling property values!! FLEE IN TERROR!!! Because of all the ill will, the group decided not to go through with the purchase. This infuriates me on so many levels. First, these people aren't terrorists. They wanted to open a cultural center, you know, a place that *educates* people against prejudice and stereotypes. Secondly, it would be nice to see different people in this community. When I lived it NJ, I thought it was awesome that I could walk out of my apartment and hear several different languages being spoken. We need a cultural infusion to get us out of this damn white slump we're in. As for them moving here, I don't know about you, but I like new foods! I could make new friends that would invite me over for dinner! Fun!! Alas, my xenophobic, closed-minded, conservative, super Christian, loser neighbors don't see it this way. Tell you what, why don't you call Jerry Falwell and tell him we have a building for him. At least then I'll have a place to take out my rage on.

I Heart Spring Break

2006-03-03T16:37:00.000-05:00

Hooray for spring break! Alas, no wet t-shirt contests for me. I'm headed to New Jersey (where I used to live). Glitter Sister and I are going to visit our family and some of my friends. We're leaving tomorrow morning and coming home on Wednesday. I am *so* excited!!!!!!! I have *really* missed all my NJ people!! It'll be so great to see everyone again!! I really want to go now. Really really. But I wouldn't get there until about 11pm, so that's out. Have a nice weekend everyone! I'll see you next week!

Olympic Disappointments

2006-02-27T12:11:00.000-05:00

Was it just me, or were the Closing Ceremonies...not good? I loved Andrea Bocelli (I think I spelled that right) and the flying men. Other than that, it was a bit of a letdown. For the record, I was deeply disturbed by all the brides. What in the hell were they supposed to symbolize? I personally think they would have fit a lot better in the last Olympics in Salt Lake City. At least in Utah a multitude of brides would have made sense. Secondly, if all Canada has to offer for the next Olympics is ice fishing and Avril Lavigne, I will be staying away from Canada for many years to come. My dad's comment was "So they have a Brittany Spears too?" Yes dad, yes they do. And unfortunately they've inflicted her upon us.

On a more random note, my dad and I got into an argument last night (shock). He truly believes that oatmeal cookies, pizza, and anorexia are healthy. When I disagreed, he told me I was "very ignorant" because this was "proven science." Okaaaay. Is this the first sign of dementia?? Should I be looking for a personal care home?? Help me people!!

Because you just can't make this stuff up...

2006-02-24T19:32:00.000-05:00

So yesterday, some couple walked into a local gas station mini-mart and asked the clerk to warm up something for them in a microwave. When it gave off a funny smell, the clerk unwrapped the thing in the microwave and found out it was a penis. Yes, you read that correctly. A penis. She called police, and the couple fled. As could only happen in western PA, the penis turned out to be a fake. You see, the woman was going to have to take a blood test at work. She was going to fail. She asked a male coworker for some of his urine to turn in as her own. He gave her some, and by some brilliant flash of inspiration, they decided it would be best to put said urine into a fake penis, as if this would somehow authenticate the urine. They also realized that the urine shouldn't be cold when they turned in the sample. Hence the mini-mart trip. Dude, you just can't make this shit up.

If you want to read the full story, click here.

Golden

2006-02-23T14:33:00.000-05:00

Woohoo! The socks are done, and I have officially completed the Knitting Olympics! I really enjoyed making socks. Because they're small, I can make them in a short amount of time. The ADD part of me enjoys that. Plus, it was really fun watching my mom try to wrap her brain around how I could make something circular on triangular needles. lol

Note to self

2006-02-19T11:38:00.000-05:00

To: Mr. M.U. Cus, Director of Sinus and Nose Operations Tactics (S.N.O.T.)
From: Kim, Owner of Sinus and Nose
RE: Recent Overtime Production

Dear Mr. M.U. Cus,

It is my duty to inform you that, due to recent overages, S.N.O.T. will be terminated shortly unless your department ceases production immediately. Overproduction of S.N.O.T. has already resulted in the death of 47 large trees, in the form of tissues. We cannot allow the sacrifice of any more innocent lives. You have one week in which to cut back a great deal on the production of S.N.O.T. Failure to do so will result in immediate termination and forcible removal. I'm tired of having a runny nose.

Respectfully,

Kim

Halfway to Olympic Glory

2006-02-18T11:25:00.000-05:00

Number of socks done: 1

Number of socks to go: 1

Number of days left: 8

Getting a medal in the Knitting Olympics: priceless

Happy Valentine's Day!!

2006-02-14T14:19:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!! I hope your day is filled with lots of hugs, lots of kisses, and most importantly, lots of chocolate!!

Somebody up there loves me

2006-02-14T13:46:00.000-05:00

I know this is a bit of old news, but I just had to comment on it. Dick Cheney shot his hunting companion in the face. This was a major "Thank you God" moment for me. I think this is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. I almost feel badly for the guy, but he was a friend of Cheney's. He probably deserved it. The shame of it is that it's almost too easy to make fun of. Almost. He thought the dude was a bird. And this guy is running our country??!! Holy shit! I thought he was at least a bit smarter than W. I guess not. I'd like to see Charlton Heston defend this one. I think this proves the need for gun control. And what's up with The Dick saying he "feels kinda bad" about this accident? KINDA?? Dude, you just shot your friend in the face!! WTF??!! I suppose this is just more evidence that The Dick has been dead for years, and the government just animates his body every once in a while. Although, they probably should have skipped this time.

Oh but wait, it gets better. I just found out that the dude The Dick shot had birdshot in his heart as well, and this caused him to have a minor heart attack. Stupid people should never be allowed to have guns or procreate.

Infestation

2006-02-09T08:42:00.000-05:00

Holy crap, am I sick. I haven't been this sick in a *very* long time. Actually, I've never been sick with this much pain before. My *entire* throat is infected, everything from my tonsils down to my thyroid and everything in between. Can we say ouch? It feels like little flaming creatures are slowly eating away at my entire throat. It hurts to do absolutely anything. Even ice cream produces searing pain. Swallowing? Forget it. No can do. In the few moments that I've managed to sleep, I've awakened in puddles of drool because even unconscious, I refuse to swallow. I thought that I'd get relief after a few doses of antibiotic, but I've taken 3, and so far, no less pain. Anyone have a spare Vicodin?

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!!!!

2006-02-05T22:41:00.000-05:00

HE BROUGHT IT!!!!!

AND SO DID HE!!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS STEELERS!!!!!
WE LOVE YOU!!!!!
WE FINALLY GOT ONE FOR THE THUMB!!!!!

Bring It Home Jerome!!!

2006-02-04T15:58:00.000-05:00

HERE WE GO STEELERS!!!!
Time to bring home the one for the thumb! I'll be watching from the comfort of my couch trying not to break anything with my Terrible Towel! Good luck guys!!

Black and Gold Litmus Test

2006-02-04T15:41:00.000-05:00

The sign of a true Steeler fan:

My mom pulled out her new mascara today. For those of you who don't know my mom, she's obsessed with her makeup. She won't even walk the dog in the morning without it. As soon as she pulled out the new tube, she shrieked, "It's Seahawk colors!!" and absolutely refused to wear it. That, my friends, is true dedication!

Black and Gold and Puke All Over

2006-02-02T10:33:00.000-05:00

To: My Digestive System
From: Kim
RE: The Commute From Hell

Dear Digestive System,

I've been pretty calm about everything going on with you, don't you think? You grumble, I take it. You growl, I soothe you. I've been good to you. When you decided you couldn't deal with milk anymore, I spent a fortune on Lactaid. When you decided you didn't like sugar, I stopped eating it. No nuts? Sure. Fine. Whatever. When you had a nervous breakdown and couldn't deal with gluten, I cut it out of our diet. This last one was a particularly huge sacrifice, by the way. I love you, I really do. However, your behavior has been out of control lately. What's up with the constant nausea? What was the deal with that damn commute home yesterday??!! I don't know when you decided that we needed to puke all over Hazelwood, but was that really necessary? I know you probably thought nobody would notice when, in the middle of that huge traffic jam, I had to open the car door so you could spill your contents onto the pavement. Guess what? You were wrong. Not that I particularly cared at that point, I admit. I was too busy in the cycle of stop, puke, stop, puke. But honestly, would it have killed you to wait another 25 minutes until we were home??!! Oh, and I particularly enjoyed spending all last evening in the bathroom. I hadn't realized how badly that one bathroom needs to be repainted. We really need to deal with this since we'll hopefully be together for many years to come. Lately, you seem to think that you're in charge. You aren't. I'll deal with some of your moodiness, but I am drawing the line here. No more. You need to shape up and quit being so picky. We're running out of food options here!! I really would like to have a more open relationship with you. If you have a problem, I'd like you to come to me, and we'll work it out together. Just think it over and get back to me. I'll be anxiously awaiting your answer.

Sincerely,

Kim

Dippy the Dog

2006-02-01T11:38:00.000-05:00

The State of the Union royally pissed me off. Pitt's loss to UConn. royally pissed me off. So I'm not going to talk about them. It's my blog, I can do what I want. So there. Instead, I'm going to talk about another problem I have. My dog. Lucie is a weird dog. She can be *very* smart. She can also be *very* stupid, although that's mostly out of fear. It seems that the older she gets, the more fearful she gets. About 2 weeks ago, Lucie decided she was afraid of our kitchen. She was hungry, but just sat in the doorway and cried. I actually went so far as to put a piece of hamburger on the floor, and she just cried. At this point, I was laughing to the point of tears. This was the funniest freaking thing I'd ever seen. What dog all of a sudden decides they're afraid of a whole room, especially the room that holds their food bowl?? I soon realized it's mainly the dishwasher she's afraid of (not that she's been in this house for 5 years or anything...). The other night was particularly funny. My mom didn't realize that Lucie was eating and she turned on the dishwasher. Lucie then became stuck in the back of the kitchen. She stood there and cried until I finally came to rescue her. Absolutely pitiful. What the hell am I supposed to do about this? I refuse to move her food bowl. That's just stupid. Any other ideas??

50s Time Warp

2006-01-28T13:06:00.000-05:00

When did I get to be a middle-aged housewife?? And how?? I'm not middle-aged, married, or a mother. So when did my Saturdays turn into chore day?

So far today, I've walked the dog, cleaned up the kitchen, scrubbed pots and pans, loaded and ran the dishwasher, unloaded said dishwasher, packed and loaded my mom's car, dusted upstairs, vacuumed the whole house, went to the post office, and got gas. I'm still debating washing my car. The only thing I'm missing is a screaming toddler on my hip. Although I'm sure if I asked, the breeders next door would gladly lend me one. Does a barking dog count?

Okay, so here is one of my ruminations from this morning. My mom just got a new vacuum. The other one actually rolled over and died from being used too much. My mom's a bit obsessive when it comes to the vacuum. Anyway, her new one has two lights on it that show when the floor is clean or dirty. If the floor is dirty, the red "dirty" light comes on. Once it's clean, the green "clean" light appears. As far as I'm concerned, this can't actually tell if the floor is clean or not, right? I mean, it just seems like something stuck on the vacuum in order to jack up the price another $50-$75. Just a little something to show you the vacuum is really "working". But the more I vacuumed, the more obsessed I got with those stupid lights. Is the floor really clean? It won't be until the green light comes on!! Must vacuum more!! GAH!! I finally decided if the floor wasn't clean by now, we should just get new carpet. What has my life come to?

Caffeine induced delirium

2006-01-25T11:26:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I'm now flying on two hours of sleep. I don't know why. I finally fell asleep at 5, only to be awakened by my mom's obsessive vacuuming at 7. Gah! I need more sleep than that to function properly. Apparently, though, my body does not agree.

So, in my delirium, I have a question. I read that Prince Harry is joining the army. Apparently, it's a unit that's already been deployed to Iraq. So here's my question. If Britain sends a prince to fight in this fucking war, can we send the Bush twins?? Please????

It's either really early or really late...

2006-01-25T02:48:00.000-05:00

It's 2:47 am, and I am *wide* awake. I've been trying to sleep since 11, but that is so not happening. It seems the girl at Starbucks gave me a caffeinated latte after I asked her 3 times for decaf. Besides, I found an X-Files marathon on. Gotta watch that. I'm watching the episode where dead chickens fall from the sky. Sure. Fine. Whatever. Ten space alien points to whoever can name that episode. Julz, I'm counting on you here. Shit, even the dog's sleeping...

Help Wanted

2006-01-24T14:53:00.000-05:00

Well, it's happening again. My dad is talking about getting a hunting dog. No matter how many times my mom and I try talking him out of this stupid idea, he insists he wants one. You see, it's not the dog that I'm opposed to. I'm totally a dog person. It's my dad as a dog owner that I have a huge problem with. My dad should never be allowed to own living creatures. The only reason my sister and I survived into adulthood was because my mom was there to take care of us. It's not that my dad was purposefully neglectful, he just didn't realize small children shouldn't be left to their own devices. He barely remembers to eat himself. Therefore, if he gets a dog, guess who's going to be taking care of it? Me. I know this. You see, my dad is really good to my dog, but only because he doesn't have to take care of her. He just gets to have fun with her. He doesn't see the hours of care that I put into her each day. And she isn't even a puppy. I know I'd be the one taking the dog out, feeding it, etc. I just don't want another dog right now. I love my dog to death, but she's work. I'm happy with just her. And then there's the issue of my poor mom. Mom is not an animal person. It was an extreme parental sacrifice for her to allow me to have Lucie. That being said, Mom adores Lucie. Still, I do the majority of the care, plus all of the expenses come out of my pocket. She also knows that when I move out, Lucie will go with me. Now my mom may get stuck with a dog for another 15 years. Not fair at all. This whole situation sounds like a 5 year old begging his parents for a dog. Please?? I promise I'll take care of it!! Meanwhile, the parents know exactly who'll be taking care of the dog. I just don't know what to say to him. The more my mom and I try to convince him that he shouldn't get a dog, the more he wants to prove he should. Still, I'm afraid that if we told him he could get a dog, he actually would. Any suggestions?

PITTSBURGH'S GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!!!!

2006-01-22T19:38:00.000-05:00

Finally, Pittsburgh's going to the Superbowl!! I am so happy!! I'm especially pleased for Jerome Bettis. He earned this one. I think the most touching moment of the game was at the very end when Bettis looked up into the stands at his parents and yelled "We're going home!!" Rock on Jerome.

Here We Go!!!

2006-01-22T10:46:00.000-05:00

Pittsburgh's goin' to the Super Bowl!!!

GO STEELERS!!!!!!

I wanna be a Contender...

2006-01-20T12:17:00.000-05:00

Today I officially entered Steph's Knitting Olympics. Anyone who competes must choose a challeging project to begin when the Olympic torch is lit and finish by the time the flame is extinguished. For Official Rules, click here. I decided that I would do a pair of socks. That will definitely be a challenge for me. I've been wanting an excuse to learn for a while, so why not the Olympics? I'll definitely be in need of Olympian strength. So, off I went merrily to the yarn store last night. I'd never been to this particular yarn store, so I thought I'd check it out. Okay, you know what I hate? Salespeople who act like used car dealers. There were two people in the store last night when I went in. In five seconds, they'd told me that the socks I wanted to make (clearly labeled "beginner") would be far beyond my skill level, wanted me to make this really stupid hat with a sock hanging off the end of it, and tried to sell me $90 worth of stuff to make said stupid hat. Fortunately for me, their shifts ended at 5. In came the knitting goddess who is my new best friend. She sympathized with me and told me that, if I wanted to make socks, to go right ahead and make socks. She would help me in any way she could. She also didn't try to sell me anything. In fact, she told me that if I had cheaper yarn at home (and I do), she'd recommend doing my first pair of socks on that. I ended up spending $8 on new double-pointed needles and a nice, simple pattern. Just what I wanted in the first place. I will not be returning to this yarn store unless the knitting goddess is there. Maybe I can count this experience as the preliminary events that all athletes go through before making the Olympic team. Maybe.

No Pain, Big Gain

2006-01-19T10:36:00.000-05:00

Okay, normally I don't blog about stuff like this, but today, I decided that I simply have to. If any of you are sensitive to squicky things, do not read this entry. You have been warned.

Two weeks ago, I went to the gynecologist. During playtime with the speculum, my doctor cut my vagina. REPEATEDLY. Can we say ouch??!! Yes, there was actually blood involved. Apparently, she was using the wrong size. I'm a small person. I need the smallest size. I've actually had a doctor tell me this before. My vagina was quite mad at my doctor after this (can you really blame her?) and me. Now here comes the good news. My vagina has finally healed from the trauma, quite assured that there would be no more slice and dice for another year. But last night, I got a phone call from my doctors office. During said trauma, they didn't collect enough cells. Can you guess what this means?? That's right! I get to go in and do it all over again!! Oh the fun!! I can't tell you how excited I am. After this, my vagina will never speak to me again.

Winners and Other Losers

2006-01-16T18:19:00.000-05:00

Holy shit. That's all I can say about yesterday's Steelers game. Just holy shit. I have never been so close to a heart attack as I was in the last five minutes of that game. Of course my blood pressure is still up compliments of the refs. Those bad calls were so blatant that somebody had to be paying them off. Someone was hellbent on Indianapolis winning that game. Ha, ha. Too bad. Fortunately, the Steelers won in spite of all the shit those refs threw at them. Those refs should be fired. On the other hand, the Steelers now advance to the AFC championship game. Once again

GO STEELERS!!!!

Thank you god that this week is over!

2006-01-14T11:40:00.000-05:00

Wow. It's been quite a week. I can't tell you much about it because it involves my place of employment, and we all know how they feel about blogs. Suffice it to say that I was working a conference there, and it involved a gopher for much of the week. Much urban hiking. Oh the blisters on my poor feet. Despite all of the madness, I did get to meet a lot of really cool people, all of them authors. In fact, if you're looking for a good book, I highly recommend The Accidental Buddhist by Dinty Moore. Yeah, okay, I thought he was kidding too when he introduced himself. He wasn't. And no, it's not a penname. I wonder if his parents really wanted him to get beat up on the playground all the time? Anyway, he's hysterically funny and one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. I love this guy. His book is about discovering why Buddhism is a growing trend in America, but it's written from his personal experiences meeting Buddhists, going on Buddhist retreats, and even meeting the Dalai Lama. Very cool.

For all of you moms out there, I also recommend The Lunch-Box Chronicles by Marion Winik, who was another author I met this week. Her book is about surviving as a single parent of two boys after her husband dies of AIDS. It's her exploration of what it means to be a "good mom." It's a great book whether you have kids or not.

Finally, as I am from Pittsburgh, I just have to say Go Steelers!!! In one of the buildings where I work, there were Steeler signs up all over the place. One of them actually was titled "A Prayer for Steeler Triumpf," spelled just like that. Okay people, that's just embarrassing. If you didn't know how to spell triumph, you could have changed to word to victory. Or would that have ended up "victorie"?

GO STEELERS!!!!!!!

New Year's and Other Resolutions

2006-01-02T17:27:00.000-05:00

Well, it's that time of year again! Time to make (and break) some resolutions. Normally, I don't make resolutions. I think they're a waste of time. People make them, then break them a week later. However, I broke down and made a few this year. One is to not procrastinate, which is funny because I'm procrastinating right now. Secondly, I joined the Discovery Health National Body Challenge. If you join, you get a free 8 week membership to Bally's. Free is good. With that offer, I figured I might as well. I guess this isn't really a resolution, but close enough.

How I know I'm ahead of the game: On the Maury Show, a woman slept with identical twin brothers. She doesn't know who her baby's daddy is. And guess what? A DNA test can't tell because they have identical DNA. Lol. These people make me feel so much better about my own life.

Merry Christmas!! (a bit early...)

2005-12-24T14:26:00.000-05:00

For Christmas, I give you Santa Paws! I hope that everyone has a wonderful and safe holiday!!

The True Christmas Miracle

2005-12-23T16:32:00.000-05:00

I have finally experienced a true Christmas miracle. I made it out of mall purgatory alive.
There was a time when I didn't believe I would. Too many crazy kiosks. Too many rude salespeople. Way too many fights over parking spots. I hit shopping overload about 3 weeks ago. I am *tired*. So what am I doing tonight? Going to help my boyfriend with his Christmas shopping. This, my friends, is true love. There are very few people in this world that I would willingly return to mall purgatory for. Luckily for him, he's one of them. He also promised to take me to Starbucks first. Ahh...Starbucks and Mike. Life is good. Even in purgatory.

I GOT KERMIT!!!!

2005-12-21T13:11:00.000-05:00

I have just been honored beyond belief. Of course, only those of you who knit will truly understand this. You see, my friend Julz just sent me my Christmas gift. It happened to be the scarf that she's put months of her life into. The scarf's name is Kermit because of all the times she had to frog it. For you non-knitters, "frogging" is the act of ripping out stitches that you've slaved over. It is a very painful act that, at its worst, can cause the knitter to lapse into catatonic schizophrenia. Anyway, I opened the package that arrived for me yesterday, and there was the most beautiful green scarf I've ever seen!! My first thought "I"m not worthy!!!" Glitter Sister lost about 10 years off her life hearing my scream of "IT'S KERMIT!!!" I'll post a picture of it soon. I'm just so touched and honored to be the recipient of this scarf!! Thank you Julz!!!

More Christmas Cheer

2005-12-16T14:50:00.000-05:00

I hate department stores. I never shop in one if I have any other alternatives. I'm not really sure why I hold such animosity toward them. Perhaps it's because they all look the same to me. And they charge a fortune for clothes I really don't like. However, today I officially ran out of alternatives. So, for only the third time in my life, I went to Macy's. Fortunately, I found what I was looking for (at 60% off. yeah me!!). But then, I had to deal with the plastic cashier. I'm convinced also that many of the cashiers that work at department stores are simply mannequins with batteries. This was my conversation with the plastic cashier.

The Plastic Cashier: "Will this be on your Macy's card?"

Me: "No."

TPC: "Do you have a Macy's account?"

Me: "No."

TPC: "Would you like to open one?"

Me: "No."

TPC: "You could save an extra 20% today and tomorrow on all purchases."

Me: "No."

TPC: (in a disappointed, yet sarcastic tone) "That's too bad!"

Wait. What?? Okay, bitch, listen. I shop at department stores once a year max. I have no need for a credit card for a store I won't be shopping in before it expires. Also, 20% off a $12 sweater is not that much!! Furthermore, don't even pretend to be disappointed that I didn't open an account. First of all, no paper work for you. Secondly, I won't continue to tie up the whole line behind me. Besides that, if I had signed up for a stupid Macy's credit card, I hardly think it would have resulted in an increase in your pay check.

Some PC Christmas Spirit

2005-12-15T09:30:00.000-05:00

As I was driving home last night, I passed a business that had this written on their sign:

"Feliz Navidad to all illegal aliens."

Looks like someone's Christmas stockings are on a bit too tight.

Distractions and a Bonus Glitterism

2005-12-14T09:34:00.000-05:00

How to know you're way too distracted:

Step 1: Pull into friendly neighborhood strip mall.
Step 2: Become fascinated with the woman in the car next to you who's having a complete conversation with her purchases. Realize she's not on a cell phone, she addressing each package by name.
Step 3: Become very afraid. Walk quickly into store.
Step 4: Purchase item.
Step 5: Walk out of store only to realize you have no car keys.
Step 6: Walk back into store and search for keys. Have no luck.
Step 7: Decide to search car.
Step 8: Realize that no only have you locked the keys in the car, you left them in the ignition with the car running.
Step 9: Thank the Christmas gods for the fact that you always carry a spare key in your purse for just such an occasion (you have been known to lock keys in the car frequently).
Step 10: Head home. You're a danger to yourself.

Bonus Glitterism:

I called Glitter Sister last night to cheer her up from a bad finals week. I decided to tell her about Friday's Christmas party. She got hysterical and then mentioned something I failed to take into consideration before. You see, both of us had a particular teacher that we'll call Mr. Blank. Mr. Blank seriously went a bit mental in the six years between when I had him and when Glitter Sister did. When she had him, Mr. Blank invited her whole class over to his house for a pizza party, while insisting repeatedly that they all bring their bathing suits for the hot tub. Creepy. Anyway, after I told Glitter Sister the story, she laughed and then paused. Then she said "OMG, what if Mr. Blank is there?? He'll invite you into the hot tub!! And there won't even be a hot tub!!" Okay, if he's there, I am so not leaving my boyfriend's side all night!

Less Bitterness, More Sweetness

2005-12-13T10:12:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'm starting to get over the anger from the last post. I'm still really disappointed, but I'm not about to kill anyone anymore.

On the homefront, we got a new shower head FINALLY! See, you don't understand. This summer, my dad replaced our old shower with a new, crappy one. Funny thing is that I noticed he replaced the shower in his bathroom at about the same time with a much nicer one. Whatever. Anyway, this shower sucked so badly. It only had one small stream of water coming out of it. Basically, it looked like the shower was peeing. After much complaining from my mom and I, my dad replaced it yesterday. Thank you God!! I guess my dad felt guilty because he bought us the best shower in the world!! It is a thing of beauty, with 5 adjustable speeds. I am so happy. I'm actually enjoying showering again.

Secondly, I know I don't talk a lot about my new boyfriend, basically because I wanted to be sure things would work. And fortunately, they have! I am absolutely crazy about this guy!! Anyhow, to give a bit of background, he's a teacher at my old high school. And before you even think - NO, he was not there when I was!! I would not do that!! Anyhow, I'm going to a Christmas party with him on Friday that's thrown ever year by one of my old teachers. Apparently there's plenty of alcohol. Okay, try to wrap your brains around this one. I'm going out on Friday to get drunk with my old teachers. Does that have a high weirdness factor or what??!! I'm actually looking forward to it, but I'm sure there will be a few awkward moments. Hmm...good think there will be plenty of alcohol!

Why Our Country Sucks Part 647 (in which I drop the F-bomb repeatedly)

2005-12-11T17:36:00.000-05:00

Dear President Pig-Fucker,

Because of you and your retarded post-9/11 immigration laws (which don't work *at all*), I will not be with part of my family on Christmas Day. Why you ask? Let me explain. My cousin Jimmy is a US citizen who lives and works in Australia. His partner, who's Malaysian, also lives and works in Australia. Both are wonderful, law-abiding citizens. Who I won't see come Christmas, Mr. Fucktard. You see, being Malaysian, Terry had to apply for a visa to enter the United States. Because, you know, holy shit, he could be a terrorist. Flee in horror! Anyway, Terry applied in August, informing the appropriate agencies of his travel plans and itineraries. To get this visa, Terry had to first pass an interview. Your dumbass agents scheduled the interview for Dec. 11, knowing full well that he was planning on leaving on the 21st. After completing his interview, he was informed that he would need to wait 6 weeks to get his visa. WTF??!! Hey Fucktards! You scheduled his interview too late!! Learn basic math!! As a result, family members who I haven't seen in over 5 years will be missing from my Christmas table. Merry Fucking Christmas, Pig-fucker.

She's Lucky She's Cute

2005-12-11T14:03:00.000-05:00

Remember how I was slaving away washing all of my bedding last night? Well, I woke up this morning to find that my charming dog had puked all over my nice clean comforter some time during the night. So far, I've resisted the urge to kill and/or seriously maim her, and I am currently doing laundry. . .again. . .

Finally a new post!

2005-12-10T20:51:00.000-05:00

Wow! I can't believe how long it's been since I last posted. Sorry about that. I've been quite busy, as yesterday was the last day of classes. I now only have to grade final exams and papers. But at least I can do that in my PJs.

I do have to say congrats to the South Park High School football team for winning the PA State Championship today!! Yay South Park!!

The shame of this post is that a lot has been going on, but it all relates to school, so I can't blog about it. Pleh. Other than that, I'm finally doing laundry tonight. I decided to wash all my bedding. I'm tired of waking up with dog hair in my mouth. However, I caused a small flood in the basement tonight. oops. All the dog hair got in the water draining from the washer clogged the drain, and the laundry tubs overflowed. Fortunately, I was able to catch it before the flood got too big. I don't know what made me go down to check the laundry, but when I got down there I was able to dump water from one tub to the other until it finally stopped draining. Flood averted. Yay.

We got our Christmas tree last weekend. We go out to a Christmas tree farm every year and cut down our own. Usually we get a very soft-needled tree, but this year we couldn't find any we liked. Instead, we got a spruce with extremely sharp needles. One benefit to getting a live tree and decorating it 2 hours after you've cut it down is that it is very fresh. One problem with getting a live tree and decorating it 2 hours after you've cut it down is that it is very fresh. Extra fresh=extra sharp. Extra sharp=many stab wounds. I actually had to use my dad's thick leather gloves to put the lights and the ornaments on. Now that it's decorated, the tree looks wonderful. You just can't touch it. Nobody is even allowed to breathe too close to it, lest an ornament fall off and have to be put back on again. Mom and I are just hoping that, as it dries out, the needles will get softer. That way, when we have to take all the decorations off again, we won't be in danger of bleeding to death. Much Christmas spirit here.

And speaking of Christmas spirit, we now have several inches of snow on the ground. I love snow, especially around Christmas. It makes everything look so beautiful! I hope it stays because I would love to have a white Christmas this year. Oh! And I just found out today that my cousin who lives in Australia is coming in for Christmas this year! I'm sooooo excited! I haven't seen him in over 5 years. I really want to go visit him in Sydney, but I can't afford the $2000 air fare. This is definitely the next best thing.

That's about all for now. I have to go make sure the basement isn't flooding...again...

Glitterisms

2005-11-26T21:01:00.000-05:00

Because I rarely see her, I tend to forget how funny an evening with Glitter Sister can actually be. Tonight, Survivor Uncle and Alliance Uncle came over for dinner. Glitter Sister was on such a roll, I actually started taking notes. Here's just a few of her sound bites from tonight:

Glitter Sister: "Aren't you proud of me? I actually cleaned my toilet, which never happens. I cleaned between the lid and the second lid, you know, the one with a hole in it that's shaped like a donut."

Survivor Uncle: "You mean the seat?"

Glitter Sister:" Well yeah, but no. Without padding, it's not really a seat."

* * * * * * *

"But see? This one is more of a satchel. I like something small that clings to my arm. Like a puppy." ~Glitter Sister flipping through the new Coach catalogue.

* * * * * * *

"I have this monkey fuzz on my forehead, but I think I'm over-trimming." ~Glitter Sister on... well, your guess is as good as mine.

God I love my sister!!

Turkey 911

2005-11-24T12:44:00.000-05:00

My uncle just called to inform us that he's experiencing a huge turkey emergency. Because of the snow, his power has been out for the last several hours. As a result, the turkey is still in need of hours of cooking, and our oven is too small to fit it. I have no idea what we're going to do. Hmmm...we could be a sitcom.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

2005-11-24T11:01:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!! Because I love you all so much, I sent you a card. http://www2.postcards.org/?a44-spray-aimed-my Be sure to eat a lot, drink a lot, and have a lot of fun!!

A New Little Turkey

2005-11-23T12:18:00.000-05:00

Congratulations to E-Lo, the proud new mama of little Lyric Alexandra!! Hopefully this means that she's stopped itching and can now enjoy her new little girl.

Double Cheese with Extra Bacon Beef with Ford

2005-11-22T19:25:00.000-05:00

Okay, Meineke rules. That's just all there is to it. I took my car to them this morning. They had the car in the garage at 8:15, and I was home by 8:47. And guess what. It only cost me $109.73 (including tax). I am so glad I didn't let Ford touch my car. Stanley (my car) is an old man and needs special care. Hooray Meineke for knowing how to take care of a geriatric car. Ford is no longer my friend. We are no longer on speaking terms.

Bigger Beef with Ford

2005-11-21T16:45:00.000-05:00

I will never buy from Ford again. Their customer service is terrible. Okay, you know how I told you about my car problems, and how it would cost me $700 to fix? I decided to call around to get estimates. The following is a conversation I had with the very nice Meineke Guy:

Me: "I'm calling for an estimate for my car. My exhaust system is rotted out."

Very Nice Meineke Guy: "You probably just need a new flex pipe, especially if it's the original system."

Me: "Hmm, Ford said it was the whole system. Funny thing is that I just got it inspected in September, and the car passed. Nobody ever mentioned anything about the exhaust system. I was wondering how they missed that."

VNMG: "If that was the case, they never would have let your car pass. I hear these stories all the time. Let me guess, they quoted you a price of $400?"

Me: "Umm...$700."

VNMG: "$700??!! No way!! Don't pay that!! You just need a flex pipe. That's $75 max."

Me: "When can I come in Very Nice Meineke Guy??"

VNMG: "First thing tomorrow."

Needless to say, I will be there. And I am never speaking to Ford again.

**Update**

My dad is PISSED. He said that if it turns out that all I need is a flex pipe, he's going to go scream at the Ford people. Then he told me "I mean, I expect them to take advantage of you because you're a girl, but not this much!" Umm...thanks?

Hick Town Hell

2005-11-20T13:33:00.000-05:00

I live in Western Pennsylvania. I always try to pretend that where I live is much more civilized than it actually is. Then, every so often, something will come along that completely shatters my little pink bubble of cultural sophistication. That something came in the paper today. It was an ad from an outlet mall about an hour north of me. I was going to pretend that this hour separation made a world of difference, but really, why kid myself. Here's what it was advertising:

Deer Widows Day Sale!! Monday, Nov. 28!! (For those of you who actually live in civilization, "deer widows" are all of the women left at home on the first day of hunting season, while all of the men-folk are out slaughtering Bambi.) But what about the small children, you know, the ones too small to hold a gun (think under 3)? Bring them!! They can get *free deer antlers*!! Because what little kid wouldn't want that??!! And, even better, after getting their antlers, they can meet Santa...and Rudolph. Think about that for about 10 seconds. Let the irony really sink in. Then let out a gigantic primal scream. Trust me, you'll feel better.

Welcome to my world.

Harry Potter Day!!

2005-11-18T15:19:00.000-05:00

Yay!! It's finally Harry Potter day! I'm really excited that I am going to see the movie at 5. I will have a complete review up soon.

On the other hand, I'm having car trouble again. Apparently, during my inspection in September, the car people missed the fact that my entire exhaust system was completely rotted out. Bastards. Of course, now that the colder weather is here, I'm slowly being poisoned with carbon monoxcide by my car. So here's my delimma. I'm poor. I can either spend $700 to get my car fixed (if I don't, I'll either die or my car won't pass inspection next year) and hope it lasts another 12-18 months. Or I can just trade it in for a new car. I'm really not sure what to do. Then again, I can do nothing until next October and just trade my car in then before inspection. So...opinions??

The End of the World is Near!! New at 6!!

2005-11-15T16:50:00.001-05:00

I hate local news. A whole lot. The headline teaser tonight is "What is PennDot paving our roads with? A new disturbing study!!" You know what? I really don't care what my roads are being paved with. I only drive on them. I rarely walk (and never sit down) on one. Therefore, the closest part of me that comes into extended contact with the road is my tires. I don't particularly care if the road is paved with pig urine or some potent carcinogen. It's not like we have a well, and our water is well filtered. So,

Okay, hold the phone. The local news may actually have something important to report on tonight. With Batch with a broken hand and Roethlisberger's status uncertain, Cowher is apparently considering Randle El for QB on Sunday. WTF??!! When did this happen??!! And why did no one consult me??!! Ben needs to get better FAST!!

Ho,Ho,Ho

2005-11-14T20:13:00.000-05:00

Is anyone else bothered by the fact that, according to the stores, it's been Christmas for about two months now? Granted, I'm a fan of Christmas. I think the lights are pretty and that it's fun to get cool presents. But come on people, does it really need to start in August?? I understand that the economy has tanked (thank you President Pigfucker), but don't mess with Halloween. I've accepted (and even come to enjoy) the fact that Thanksgiving has become Christmas Part 1, but leave my Halloween alone!! That being said, my next-door neighbors have put up their Christmas decorations already. This includes many lights and two huge inflatable, light-up snowmen. I could even excuse putting the decorations up early, as the weather has been extremely nice. However, do they have to turn them on already??!! Come on!! It's still 65 degrees outside!! It's not Christmas yet, and I refuse to say it is for at least another week. So there.

Update on the Dating Game

2005-11-10T09:45:00.000-05:00

I had so much fun last night!!!!!!!! I think this one may just be a keeper!!

The Dating Game

2005-11-09T16:29:00.000-05:00

Ok, Internet, I have a date this afternoon. A real live date. I'm really excited. And I'm really nervous. See, the thing is that I like this guy. A lot. And all of a sudden, I'm turning into the poster child for insecurity. I'm never like this. Ever. I guess it's because I'm hoping this will turn into something, and I want him to feel the same way. So, I'll just take a deep breath and remember to relax and be myself. This is supposed to be fun after all...

Belated Scare

2005-11-08T10:52:00.000-05:00

Here's a funny story my mom told me. She works in an elementary school, and this happened to a first grade teacher the day of their Halloween party. There was a little girl in her classroom that was dressed in a silver suit, matching hat, and tons of plastic jewelry.

Teacher: "Are you a rock star?"

First Grader: "No. I'm a pimpette."

Teacher (shocked but trying to hide it): "Well, what's a pimpette?"

First Grader: "A female pimp."

Teacher: "What's a pimp?"

First Grader: "Someone who wears *lots* of jewelry!!"

Would you say this was the trick or the treat part of that teacher's Halloween?

Mmm! Mmm! Not so good

2005-11-04T20:57:00.000-05:00

Believe it or not, adjusting to life without wheat, rye, barley, etc. is not as hard as I thought it would be. I guess this is because I've been off of sugar for 3 1/2 years, and therefore, am pretty used to fake food. One funny thing is that I almost made my mom cry in the grocery store the other day. You see, all Campbell's soups have some sort of gluten in them, which means I can't eat them. My poor mom structures her entire menu around Campbell's French Onion soup. Now, because of me, she can't use it anymore. She actually had a panic attack in the soup aisle when she realized this. It was pretty funny.

I also found out the joy that is Whole Foods. I love this store!!!!!!! They have many, many gluten-free products. It is a happy, happy place. I also found out that there are two types of wings I can still eat at Quaker Steak and Lube, which is good because we just got one 5 minutes from my house (ha, ha Julz!). I'm still starving all the time, but I'm hoping that this is something 60 lbs. of wings can cure!

Much to Celebrate

2005-11-01T11:14:00.000-05:00

Yay! I finally fixed my computer. Somehow, (I have no clue how this happened) Internet Explorer got deleted off of my computer. Because of this, MSN no longer worked. So, I reinstalled both of them, and now the computer is happy again. And so am I.

Secondly, I got a phone call from my doctor last night informing me that I do indeed have celiac. The sucky part of this is that it's an autoimmune disease. There's no cure, but to get relief from the symptoms, I can't eat anything with gluten. This includes things like wheat, barley, rye, etc. However, believe it or not, I'm really happy about this. Why? Because I will finally stop feeling sick every time I eat and I will finally have energy. Right now, I'm constantly tired. I could take a nap from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. After many years, I finally have an answer. It's not that I'm just bored or not exercising enough. It's not any medication I take or that I'm not getting enough sleep. I'm so sick of people telling me these things. So ha. I actually have a disease that makes me really tired. See? It's not just my imagination. It wasn't until I looked up my symptoms on Web MD that I figured out I had either an underactive thyroid or celiac or both. I then demanded my doctor test me for them, and lo and behold, the celiac came back positive. Told ya so. Yes, I know I'm gloating. But I think I've earned it, don't you?

Happy Samhain!!

2005-10-31T15:23:00.000-05:00

Yay!! I love Halloween for many, many reasons. But here's the top three:

1. You can wear a costume. Really people, no day is complete without a costume.

2. You can demand candy from strangers. What's more, they'll actually give it to you.

3. You can hang dead body parts from your trees, and the neighbors won't call the police.

Also, the conclusion of Most Haunted Live is on today. I love Derek Acorah, never more so than when he's possessed. Much fun!! Did I mention that I *love* this holiday??!! And I haven't even had any sugar...

As for my computer, well, that's the trick part of trick-or-treat today. I'm somewhat back online. Netscape works fine, but MSN and Internet Explorer don't. I have no clue what's wrong. I thought it might be a virus, but Norton Antivirus and the firewall say that everything is okay. Except it isn't. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know. Until then, happy Halloween!!!!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

2005-10-27T09:07:00.000-05:00

The Good - This morning I got my tooth fixed. I'm no longer slashing my tongue to ribbons every time I talk or chew.

The Bad - It cost me $135 to stop involuntarily mutilating my tongue. Also, something funky happened to my computer last night, so it's currently residing with the Geek Squad at Best Buy. I won't be blogging until I get it back. Right now, Dad's not home, so I'm using his computer. For the love of God, don't tell him!!

The Ugly - Here's a sign that'll make you think twice before eating at this restaurant: "Free gas with every order of our homemade chili!"

The Superstorm of 2005

2005-10-25T13:40:00.000-05:00

This is what the weather tards are using to describe the fact that it has rained hard for several days straight. They are talking about it as if it's Katrina Part II. Guess what. It isn't. It's just raining. It does that in Pittsburgh. Apparently, the remnants of Wilma, Alpha, and some goofy storm in West Virginia is making it rain/snow here. Well it is October people!! This happens.

On the plus side, The Tilted Dog is finally finished with her antibiotics. This will save me the pleasure of tackling her and squirting goop in her ears twice a day. Actually, it was a pretty good aerobic exercise.

Also, if you live or have ever lived in Pittsburgh, you have to check out The Carbolic Smoke Blog. It's basically the Pittsburgh edition of The Onion. Much fun!

The Survivor Diet

2005-10-23T09:54:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'm going to throw myself a little pity party for a few minutes. Let me fill you in on a bit of background info first. My diet is always a bit screwed up. I'm lactose intolerant, allergic to nuts, and I can't eat any refined sugar. Guess what? I just found out that I probably have either a wheat allergy or celiac disease (a weird wheat intolerance), so no wheat for me. This in addition to the fact that I just got my period (cramps!) and chipped my bottom front tooth last night, which wouldn't be so bad if the jagged edge didn't keep cutting my tongue every two seconds. Anyhow, it looks as though it will be rice and salads for me. That's about all. So, I'm figuring that I should just try out for Survivor next time because, hey, I'll already be accustomed to the starvations diet! Maybe with the million bucks, I can get my tooth fixed!!

Okay, pity party's over. So I'll have to add wheat/gluten to the list of things I can't eat. It's better than being in Mexico being drowned by Wilma, in Turkey where there's *nothing* to eat, or worst of all, in New Orleans being looked after by FEMA. Maybe I should ship all my unopened and now essentially useless wheat-filled products there...

Rats. But Wait...

2005-10-21T16:21:00.000-05:00

Rats again. I didn't win the Powerball jackpot. Now I'll never pay off my student loans. bummer. On the plus side though, the tilted dog is now standing straight once more. The antibiotics are working for both of us! YAY!! On the plus-plus side, the guy I'm interested in finally called me!!!! This is always exciting. Maybe we'll finally be able to stop playing phone tag and go out. I'm very, very happy about this, student loans, breast infections, and all. **does the patented Kim Happy Dance**

Begging For Input

2005-10-20T17:04:00.000-05:00

Okay, I need some help here. I'm supposed to be teaching a lesson on biography and historical analysis. The problem is that I absolutely hate the readings the book gives. So, I need to find other short or abbreviated biographys of at least half-interesting people. I have tomorrow covered. We're doing Lizzie Borden. However, I need some suggestions for Monday. Have any?

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Blog...

2005-10-18T13:42:00.000-05:00

I have a very big announcement. Ladies and Gentlemen, I DO NOT HAVE BREAST CANCER!! Needless to say, I am very happy. Here's the story, about a month ago, I found a lump on my right breast. Even though it was small, it was hard and wasn't going away. So, I figured that for my own peace of mind, I should get it checked. As it turns out, it's a breast infection. Did you know breasts can get infected?! I didn't. I have to take antibiotics four times a day for 7 days. Then I should be fine. My gynecologist said that if there was no change in a month, she's sending me for more tests, but it should go away soon. I honestly wasn't that worried about it, but still, you never know. I'm really glad I got it checked out. Granted the infection may have cleared on its own, but then again, probably not. Let's just say lesson learned.

The Tilted Dog

2005-10-17T16:46:00.000-05:00

This is also a great name for a bar. Anyhow, Lucie has a severe ear infection in one ear and a mild one in the other. Can you guess what this means? Your choices are:

a. Rearranging my whole schedule to take the dog to the vet
b. Spending about a million dollars to pay for all the crap she needs
c. Getting covered with ear spooge as the dog shook her head
d. All of the above

If you answered "d", you are correct my friend! It was a fun trip, one in which F-bombs were dropped quite liberally. I've been calling Lucie "The Tilted Dog" all day because she keeps tilting her head to the side of her badly infected ear. As a result, she's been walking a bit to the left for the past few days. She actually ran into a door last night because of this.

However, I did meet a woman and her dog there, both of whom had worse issues than Lucie. The woman told me she adopted her dog 3 months earlier from a shelter. The shelter told her the dog had been spayed on June 14. Apparently, they were wrong. The dog was most definitely in heat. When the vet called the shelter, the vet was told that they had no record of the woman or the dog (the woman did have the adoption papers). Weird? Just wait. The woman and the dog were both nice, however, she just felt the need to keep talking to me. Ordinarily I wouldn't have minded except - the woman had NO TEETH. Not one. Just smooth, shiny gums. The 13-yr-old dog on the other side of me had more teeth than this woman. And to make it worse, spit kept flying out of her mouth in my direction. Can I just say ewww??? I was actually getting physically nauseous sitting there. I wanted to tell the woman that there was a dental office right next door, but I thought that might be a bit rude. After all, with her dog leaking all over the floor, I guess the woman was a bit preoccupied.

Tell Me the Truth

2005-10-16T17:41:00.000-05:00

Is it too much? I know I went a little nuts with the changes. I'm not entirely sure I like the twinkling background with the picture. I have to let it sit for a bit.

Oh wait. I like it much better with the new text color. But still, is it too busy??

I told you I'd be back

2005-10-16T15:26:00.000-05:00

Well, after a long, long, LONG time, I've finally decided that it's time for me to return to the blogging world. Not that anyone really cares. Except me anyhow. It's going to be awkward blogging for a bit until I figure out how to talk about my daily life. You see, the place where I work has a blogging policy. I'm not allowed to mention where I work or who I work with. I understand the policy, really I do. However, it does make for some weird posting issues. Yet, since I have no desire to be dooced (I really like my job), I'll abide by it. Suffice it to say that I now have a position as an English teacher and just leave it at that.

Secondly, I'm revamping the blog a bit. Since I'm not in grad school anymore, the title and motif didn't fit so well. I plan on making changes as I feel the need. Today I felt a pretty big need. Enjoy!

Finally Finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-05-14T09:14:00.000-05:00

I GOT AN "A" ON MY THESIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Does the Happy Dance* But I'm still on hiatus from blogging because I'm currently in the process of moving back to Pittsburgh. Not the most fun I've ever had, but who cares? I got an "A" on my thesis!!

Still in Thesis Hell

2005-04-23T17:33:00.000-05:00

As you may have guessed, I am taking another hiatus from blogging because I am still in

THESIS HELL

I shall return when I rejoin civilization.

Thesis Hell

2005-04-11T18:04:00.000-05:00

How I know I've been working *WAY* too hard:

Last night I dreamed I was in Scotland talking to J.K. Rowling about my thesis. When I woke up this morning, I was fully convinced that this conversation actually took place. Until I finally realized there was no way I was out of the country last night. Can we say "study break"??

Happy Adoption Day!

2005-04-09T20:39:00.000-05:00

It's my dog's adoption day. We celebrate that instead of her birthday because I have no clue when that is. I've had her for 4 whole years today. Wow. That's the longest committed relationship I've ever had. Here's to many more happy years together!! Cheers!!

This is only a test

2005-04-04T16:09:00.000-05:00

Testing...testing...Nope, still bitter...just checking.

Much Bitching and Bitterness

2005-04-03T12:51:00.000-05:00

Okay, I know it's been forever since I've blogged. There are many excuses for that, several of which I will delve into now. Here's a quick warning and disclaimer. This post will be nothing but a series of whines and bitches. If you don't want to deal with it, don't read it. I will not be responsible for any misery that befalls you after reading this post. Now on with the show.

On Friday, I completed one of the most painful experiences of my whole life - my comps. For those of you who have been spared knowledge of this insufferable hell, allow me to enlighten you. It's a huge test that determines whether or not I get my master's degree. Three hours, fourteen authors, winner takes all. Let's just say that the highlight of the whole exam was that I didn't get sick until 2 hours and 43 minutes *after* I finished the exam. Oh, did I forget to mention that I was fighting the stomach flu and had a killer migraine during the exam? All I care about is that I passed. Seriously.

On Friday night, starting around 11:30, I began puking my guts out. Guess what. The bathroom floor is not nearly as comfortable of a bed as you'd think.

On Saturday morning, the dog woke me up. I finished puking around 3, but I still didn't feel well. However, one of the best things about being a dog owner is that even when you're sick and it's pouring outside, you still have to walk the dog. So I walked the dog. During the walk, the dog found some spoiled clam chowder - and rolled in it. She smelled like the Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau. So I had to bathe her. I don't actually mind the five minutes it takes me to shampoo her. I just hate the hour it takes to clean out the bathtub afterward. Oh yeah, and I'm losing my mind. How do I know this? Well, as I was scrubbing the dog, I was lecturing her on taking responsibility and accepting the consequences for her actions. If she wants to roll in something gross, she's going to have to deal with the bath afterward.

Told you I was losing my mind.

I'm Armenian!!

2005-03-06T10:47:00.000-05:00

I was told last night that I'm now officially Armenian. I also discovered that I have a natural talent for rolling dough. Let me explain. That Aunt is my mom's sister. However, we've always been close with That Uncle's family. Over the years, they've become family as well. Last night, That Uncle's mom and sister were visiting, and the family was making a certain Armenian food that I can barely pronounce let alone spell. I was told I showed quite a talent for making said food. Therefore, my surrogate Armenian grandmother declared that I was officially Armenian. Her exact words were "You're officially Armenian now. Welcome to the club. Don't be surprised if you wake up feeling extra hairy tomorrow morning." I love this family!! Somewhere my Polish grandmother is smiling on my newfound cooking talents. And somewhere else my Irish grandmother is laughing and making fun of me.

Much Spiffyness

2005-03-05T12:44:00.000-05:00

Check out the spiffy new glasses! The lenses are actually crack-free!!! What a concept!! Okay, so admittedly this is not the most flattering self-portrait I've ever taken, but I had to share the fact that I can see! Besides, I really do like these glasses. Be sure to comment and tell me how spiffy you think I look. And if you don't think I look spiffy, lie and tell me you do. I can't return these puppies. ;-)

Why I Am SOOOOO Awesome

2005-03-01T13:57:00.000-05:00

Why am I so awesome you wonder? Well, let me share the awesomeness that is me with you. I went out shopping today for several things. Let me start with the grocery store. I only had one coupon today because (thank you *so* much newspaper) I didn't get any on Sunday. However, much to my extreme excitement, almost everything I bought was on sale!! And not just a little bit on sale, I'm talking 50% or more!! And the diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper - 3 12-packs for $9!! Oh feel the joy!!! Even the Neosporin that wasn't on sale came with a free box of bandaids. Anyhow, according to my receipt, I saved $30.12. How cool is that??!!

Secondly, I got new glasses. Now, I have needed new glasses for a very long time. I'm very bitter with the place I got my last pair. You see, I love the frames I have now. A lot. The color and shape are perfect. However, I have had nothing but problems with them. Two months after I got them, the left lens began cracking. Then the right one did. I got them both replaced, but they started cracking again. At this point, the bastards at the eye place told me that they weren't under warranty anymore, so it was my problem. (Mind you, I've now had two other eye doctors tell me that the cracking is a manufacturer's defect, and they should have replaced them warranty or not.) After all of the cracking, which is getting worse every week, the left earpiece just broke off in my hand one day as I was taking them off. The glasses were only a little over a year old at this point, and I have always been very careful with them, so there was no reason for this to happen. I called the eye place again, and as was expected, they told me they couldn't replace them but would sodder them. Whatever. When I asked them for the number of the company to call myself, I was told they didn't have it. Okay, let me get this straight. This company supplies your company. Yet, you do not have their phone number or any other way of contacting them??!! Go suck an egg. I've gotten better customer service from a 16 yr. old at 8am on a Saturday morning at McDonalds. Fast forward to this past Sunday. I was walking with my friend and her big dog. Said big dog jumped up on me and hit my already damaged glasses. Now the right earpiece is about to fall off. So I finally accepted the inevitable. I have to get new frames. I just can't make the old ones work. What kills me is that I paid a fortune for them and now have to replace them after less than two years. WTF is up with that??!! Anyhow, I went to a different (and very helpful) new place. I found very similar (but I hope better quality) frames. All told, I paid out-of-pocket $200 *less* than I paid for my current crappy ones that I got when I had insurance that paid for most of them. So, to add insult to injury, today I realized that not only had I bought substandard glasses from a substandard place, I also got extremely ripped off doing it. Still, in a few days (instead of weeks like last time), I'll have my brand new spiffy glasses that were extremely reasonably priced. YAY!!!

Noreaster

2005-02-28T17:58:00.000-05:00

I call this "A View From My Window"

We're getting battered with another snow storm. I really love it, though. It's so pretty outside today. The snow is perfect too. Just wet enough to make snowballs and snowmen with. It's sticking to the trees and bushes also.

I didn't watch the Oscars last night. I was mad that Aviator and Million Dollar Baby were nominated. I really wanted Finding Neverland to win, but such is life. I've never been a big fan of the Oscars, though. Maybe it's because I'm not a big movie person. It just doesn't interest me. So, in lieu of my own take on the Oscars, I proudly offer you SJ's delightful review. Enjoy!

Update

2005-02-24T15:53:00.000-05:00

Well, life has been busy, but only boring, stupid stuff has happened. I won't bother to tell you about it because you would fall asleep on your keyboard, and drool was spill down between the keys. Still, I'm feeling the need to post because I haven't done so in a really long time. I have a new addiction - Diet cherry vanilla Dr. Pepper. It's really good. It's not overly sweet like a lot of the other vanilla drinks. Hmm...what else... It's snowing here. This is what I love about New Jersey. We're supposed to get 6 in. from this morning until late tonight. The funny part? Most of the schools (public and private) cancelled school in anticipation of the "Big Snow". What's even funnier is that the roads have been perfectly clear all day. I just don't get it. People here are terrified of snow. Even rain that could turn into snow. Precipitation is scary. Flee in terror.

Not One for the Kiddies

2005-02-18T09:46:00.000-05:00

Or for people who get grossed out easily. *ahem* Katelyn *ahem* Anyway, I was walking my dog this morning when I came across one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen. In the grass on the hill was the body of a rabbit sitting on its hind legs...decapitated. Most of its fur seemed to be missing too. Here's the strangest part. There was no blood anywhere. Not on the rabbit, not on the ground. It was bizarre. I know we have a fox and several feral cats running around, but could they do something like that? Wouldn't their kill be a bit bloodier? I think the most disturbing part of the whole thing is that the likely culprit is someone torturing animals. And that is just really creepy.

Riddle Me This

2005-02-15T16:09:00.000-05:00

Can anyone tell me what "Welsh Rarebit" is? I was grocery shopping today, and as I was walking by the frozen food section, I noticed that Stouffer's makes a meal labeled "Welsh Rarebit". It looked like turkey slices with gravy, but not. Now, I'd be surprised if it was rabbit because isn't that kind of expensive? Is "Rarebit" just a delicate way of saying "fake rabbit", kind of like when McDonalds labels their fake chicken "McNuggets"? Is anyone as disturbed by this as I am??!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

2005-02-14T16:14:00.000-05:00

My Fuzzy Valentine!

Thing One is my other Valentine. She has a way of making me feel all warm and squishy inside. Today when I asked her to be my Valentine, she yelled "I'd love that!" and jumped into my arms with a bone-crushing hug. I love that kid.

She made me an offer I couldn't refuse

2005-02-11T20:49:00.000-05:00

That Professor (see "Muggles of Note") made me a very tempting offer today. I was planning on moving home in May when I'm finished with grad school, mainly because I can't afford to live in New Jersey anymore. I was planning to get a part-time job, teach a class if I could get one, and then go to London for the conference. Well, I'm still going to London. That Professor wants me to be a nanny for Thing One and Thing Two for a month or so this summer - AT THE BEACH!! This means I'll get to live with them at their beach house, and they'll feed and pay me on top of it. I'll only be watching the kids for a few hours a day, and to top it off, they're really easy kids. I'd almost feel guilty getting paid for this - Almost. If I wasn't broke. Sounds great, right? I think so too. The only problem would be if I would make enough money. Dear Goddess, I hope I do because I *really* want to do this. Summer would be so awesome!!!

Oh wait, there's more

2005-02-10T16:16:00.000-05:00

Okay, I just found something else on Ebay that I actually want. This may be my only shot at land ownership. Forget DVDs or books. I want a farm on Mars for my birthday!

Is this some sort of moral dilemma?

2005-02-10T16:05:00.000-05:00

Okay, since my life has been boring for the last several days, I thought I'd leave you with this. Does this seem just a little bit wrong to you? This "praying family" is offering to pray for someone for a year for $5000. And people have actually bid on this??!! If these people are actually the Christians they claim they are, shouldn't their prayers be free? Isn't something like this covered in the Ten Commandments? Thou shalt not sell thy soul on Ebay? Furthermore, is it a sign I'm getting old when every day I find something else that makes me more scared of people?

LVP and Other Superbowl Nonsense

2005-02-07T19:12:00.000-05:00

First, let me just say that I don't think New England deserved to win the Superbowl. The only reason they won is because Donovan McNabb handed the win to them on an autographed silver platter. The Eagles' defense was great. TO played amazingly considering he just had surgery on his ankle. Oh well. I just wanted to see the Patriots go down in flames.

Secondly, I loved the half-time show. I thought Paul McCartney was great. It's about time they quit using talentless acts (I mean, Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake?? WTF!!) My uncle pointed out how odd it is that 30 years ago The Beatles weren't allowed on Ed Sullivan because they were too outrageous. Now, Paul McCartney is being used as a counterbalance of wholesome family entertainment. Thirty years from now we'll have Janet Jackson stripping during halftime. Oh wait...

Passport Hell

2005-02-03T18:00:00.000-05:00

Well, after such an exciting week, I am now in passport hell. Apparently, it's much easier to get into this country than out of it (although I can't for the life of me figure out why). Right now, I'm in a heated argument with the federal government to get a passport even though my current address is in NJ, but my driver's license has a PA address. Yeah, they sure loved that one. I also thought I had the original copy of my birth certificate down here, but I must have left that at home. You can't get a passport with just a copy of it either. So, either I have to get my mom to mail it (which I'm not entirely comfortable with) or pay $10 to get a certified copy. Oh well, I'm still deliriously happy to be going to England. I've been randomly breaking out into happy dances every day this week. Whoops, here I go again! HAPPY! HAPPY!! HAPPY!!! Wow. I'm such a loser...

LIFE IS SO GOOD!!!!!!

2005-01-31T08:29:00.000-05:00

Just so you believe me, I'll say it again.

LIFE IS *SO* GOOD!!!!!!

Okay, now on with my news. I got accepted to the UK conference!!!!!!!!! I'm going to England!!!!! For free!!!!!!!!! Well, not entirely for free. Rutgers will pay for the conference fee that includes room and board. The only thing I have to pay for is a plane ticket. This rocks!!!!! What a great way to start a Monday!!!!

No Shame, No Gain

2005-01-29T11:38:00.000-05:00

I have to share this with you, although I can't really figure out why. It's a really embarrassing moment. Actually, I should be more embarrassed about it than I am. You see, on Mondays and Fridays after teaching, I tutor Thing One. I always bring a change of clothes because I'm not a complete moron and refuse to wear my good clothes within 15 miles of kids bearing crayons, markers, and paint. Usually, I take the clothes to my second class and change in the bathroom afterward. Yesterday, though, I was running late and forgot them. No biggie, I thought, I don't have to change my sweater, only my pants. I can change in the car. Besides, I was parked half in a huge snow drift. The right side of my car was protected by a huge van and the left by the snow. Who's going to see me? So, I'm sitting in my car with my pants off and one leg in my jeans when I hear a knock at the window. I turn to see the nice male owner of the van asking me if I can move my car so he can get into his van. What the hell am I supposed to say??!! Finally, I yell "Just give me a minute to finish changing!", hoping he got the point because I *know* he saw what I was doing, unsexy underwear and all. How do I know this? Because he wouldn't make eye contact with me when I pulled out. I'm still not entirely sure he believed I was just changing. Yeah. Story of my life. And now, being supportive friends, you must share with me your embarrassing moments to make me feel better. please??

The reason I have nightmares

2005-01-27T16:46:00.000-05:00

Okay, I just saw the most disturbing commercial I've seen in a long time. Punxsutawney Phil (or a large man in a groundhog suit) was standing on a street corner holding a sign proclaiming "Have You Seen My Shadow??" At that moment, a black groundhog comes up, hits Phil, and starts running. The two proceed to chase each other around the city. What was this ad for? I still haven't figured that out yet. However, it did direct me to GroundhogChase.com. Go and be as disturbed as I was.

Sucky Days are here again.

2005-01-25T13:48:00.000-05:00

Everyone I know was having a really crappy day yesterday. My mom says there's a reason for that. According to a mathematician she saw on the Today show, yesterday was supposed to be the worst Monday of the year. Yep, works for me. After all the crap in the morning, I went to tutor Thing One. About 15 minutes in, I noticed she was scratching a lot. Turns out she may have chicken pox. Here's something even more fun. Even though I had them when I was 7 (over Halloween so I couldn't go trick-or-treating even though my mom made me the coolest Rainbow Brite costume in the whole world but no I'm not still bitter), I can get them again. Wonderful. By yesterday afternoon, I just quit. I simply stayed in bed watching The Lord of the Rings, the extended edition that is 4 1/2 hours long. That took me until 10 when I just went to bed. Mondays suck.

Mucho Bitterness

2005-01-24T07:25:00.000-05:00

There is much bitterness coursing through my veins this morning for several reasons.

1) The Patriots - how many Superbowls do you need before you're disqualified for any more? You suck.

2) The Blizzard - We had a freakin' blizzard. Every school around here is closed. Except mine. You also suck.

3) The Chill - Last night I came home to find that my lock was frozen. Rather than risking breaking my key, I got a glass of hot water from my neighbor to unfreeze it. The lock worked perfectly - until this morning. (See where I'm going with this yet?) I woke up this morning and tried to open the door to let the dog out...and the knob wouldn't turn. Yep, completely frozen. Fortunately, I have a sliding glass door to go out, but this is still much more work than it's worth. Yup, you suck too.

Yup, still snowing

2005-01-23T09:39:00.000-05:00

It's now Sunday morning. It's still snowing, but I don't care because it's Playoff Sunday!!!!!!!!

GO STEELERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Weather Outside is Frightful

2005-01-22T20:28:00.000-05:00

But I'm having fun. The storm is only half over, and we already have about a foot of snow. YAY!! It's been fun. I spent the whole day in my PJs, just reading and watching movies. I love days like this!

Civilization is Good

2005-01-22T10:33:00.000-05:00

Yay! I'm finally back from the land of sucky internet. This is why I haven't blogged in forever. I was at my parents house for Christmas break. The best internet connection I got there was 28.8 kb. Yes, you read that right. Even better, most of the time the connection was 21.6. That means I had just enough frustration tolerance to check my email before wanting to chuck the computer out the window. Pleh.

On the plus side, it's snowing - a lot. We're supposed to get around 15 inches today. This is exciting, especially since I don't have to go anywhere today. I'm happy.

This semester is shaping up to be pretty fun. I'm doing my Harry Potter thesis this semester. I also decided to take a "Teaching Harry Potter" class. It's an undergrad class, but I'm allowed to take one of those and count it as graduate credits. It's an interesting mix of the literary aspects of Harry Potter and teaching Harry Potter to little kids. The professor is convinced I'll be bored, and she's probably right, but I don't care because now, instead of doing a thesis and taking another class, it'll be just writing a thesis. I'll turn in my thesis work for the class. I love it when things work out that way!

Here's an interesting fact. My dog hates sour cream and onion chips. I thought dogs ate anything. Guess not.

Fun with the Digital Camera

2004-12-28T13:39:00.000-05:00

YAY! I finally got a digital camera for Christmas. Now I can show you pictures of all the things I talk about. Three cheers for visual aids!!

This is my baby. Her name is Lucie. Isn't she b-e-a-utiful???

Somebody call Animal Control. There's a baboon in my tree.

Actually, these are my genes in that tree. Now maybe you'll believe me when I say I'm fighting an uphill battle.