:: Thursday, April 05, 2007- Conjugating a strange day
Strange - I was telling my dad that I can't sleep at night, mainly because I hear Glitter Sister whose up all night. My dad told me I should drink wine and smoke a little pot before bed - and meant it.
Stranger - I was almost taken out by a pigeon. As I was walking to my car, I started to open the door when I noticed that a crazed, psychotic pigeon on a direct trajectory toward my forehead. My only thought? After all the crap I've dealt with, this is how I go?? Fortunately, I was able to duck, and the bird nailed the fence behind me instead. Here's a weird thought - is the word "stupid" implied by the word pigeon?
Strangest - I'm addicted to this show on the Discovery Channel called "A Haunting". No, that's not the strange part. Well, maybe it is. You can decide later. Anyhow, the show recreates people's experiences living in haunted houses. Most episodes end with the families fleeing in terror from the house. Usually I have sympathy for these people, but today? Not so much. You see, today's show profiled the stupidest people in America. The couple was looking to buy a house in New England, and the realtor was showing them a 100+ year old fixer-upper. Then came some clues that they should never in a million years buy that house.
Clue #1 - The realtor told them that she'd been in the house once, but would never go back in. She refused to explain.
Clue #2 - The family living in the house had boarded up all the upstairs doors and was living in the living room on mattresses with sheets over the doorways. The family repeatedly told the couple that they were not allowed to go upstairs.
Okay, let's think about this. It's never a good sign when the *realtor*, you know, the person who's trying to sell the house, won't set foot inside. Secondly, even if you don't believe in ghosts, why would you buy a house that a psychotic family has just lived in?! They would know where you live!! They could come back and kill you in your sleep! So anyway, the stupidest people in America buy the house, and of course, the spooks come out to play. A lot of them. The kicker? After the couple had lived there for several years and had been scared out of the wits most days, a realtor came to them with an offer from a man to buy the house for twice what they paid. They turned it down. Come on people! Even if your house isn't haunted, that's a pretty hard offer to pass up. Apparently, after a "successful exorcism", the couple still lives there with their kids. Like I said, normally I have sympathy for these people, but not today. These idiots deserved every ghost, ghoul, and bump in the night they got!
cast by Kim at 9:55 PM
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Witch Profile:
Name: Kim L.
Location: Pittsburgh (Yeah Steelers!!)
Age: 27
Occupation: English Teacher, student
Quote: "Buckle up - it makes it harder for aliens to abduct you." ~bumpersticker
Recent Spells:
Cutest. Kid. EVER.
Wednesday with the Cap'n
Greatest. Mom. EVER.
Housekeeping
Didja miss me??
Celebration!
Not Okay
Gainful Employment
Creative Slump
I Heart Spring Break
Past Enchantments:
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
March 2007
April 2007
Into the Enchanted Forest:
Rabid Rabbits and Psycho Squirrels
Brighton
Transparent Eyelids
Squirrel Stories
The Official Harry Potter Website
J.K.Rowling's Official Website
The Sarcastic Journalist
Dooce
Overheard in New York
In the Cauldron:
Reading: books for the kid's bookclubs I run
Writing: stuff for my education classes
Watching: Most Haunted, TiVo backlog
Listening to: Celtic Woman
Loving: Sleep!
Loathing: allergies
Wanting: 30 hour days
Saying: GAH!
Avoiding: as much stupidity as possible (a Herculean effort)
Lost Prophecies:
Welcome to the one procratination tool I have left. I'm an overworked, underpaid English teacher. I do, however, love my job. Seriously, I really do. Anyhow, this blog started in my grad school days. I'm currently redoing it to reflect my new position in life. Enjoy!
The Faerie Ring:
"Mom" - My mom who is the most wonderful mom in the world! We hang out together and go to craft shows.
"Dad" - My dad who pretends to be a hunter/mountain man. He makes good grouse and is convinced pizza is health food.
"Glitter Sister" - My sister who can be distracted by sale tags and sparkly objects. She's 20.
"Survivor Uncle" - One of my two uncles who feed me on Thursdays while watching Survivor. He likes Donny Osmond a little too much.
"Alliance Uncle" - Survivor Uncle's partner. We have an alliance and kick people off islands.
"The Tilted Dog" - Lucie, the cutest dog in the whole world. She's afraid of the kitchen and likes to chase squirrels. She also leans to the left when she has an ear infection.
Tell Me a Tale:
Witch Web:
moon phases
be sorted @ nimbo.net
