:: Friday, February 24, 2006- Because you just can't make this stuff up...
So yesterday, some couple walked into a local gas station mini-mart and asked the clerk to warm up something for them in a microwave. When it gave off a funny smell, the clerk unwrapped the thing in the microwave and found out it was a penis. Yes, you read that correctly. A penis. She called police, and the couple fled. As could only happen in western PA, the penis turned out to be a fake. You see, the woman was going to have to take a blood test at work. She was going to fail. She asked a male coworker for some of his urine to turn in as her own. He gave her some, and by some brilliant flash of inspiration, they decided it would be best to put said urine into a fake penis, as if this would somehow authenticate the urine. They also realized that the urine shouldn't be cold when they turned in the sample. Hence the mini-mart trip. Dude, you just can't make this shit up.
If you want to read the full story, click here.
cast by Kim at 7:32 PM
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Witch Profile:
Name: Kim L.
Location: Pittsburgh (Yeah Steelers!!)
Age: 27
Occupation: English Teacher, student
Quote: "Buckle up - it makes it harder for aliens to abduct you." ~bumpersticker
Recent Spells:
Golden
Note to self
Halfway to Olympic Glory
Happy Valentine's Day!!
Somebody up there loves me
Infestation
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!!!!
Bring It Home Jerome!!!
Black and Gold Litmus Test
Black and Gold and Puke All Over
Past Enchantments:
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
March 2007
April 2007
Into the Enchanted Forest:
Rabid Rabbits and Psycho Squirrels
Brighton
Transparent Eyelids
Squirrel Stories
The Official Harry Potter Website
J.K.Rowling's Official Website
The Sarcastic Journalist
Dooce
Overheard in New York
In the Cauldron:
Reading: books for the kid's bookclubs I run
Writing: stuff for my education classes
Watching: Most Haunted, TiVo backlog
Listening to: Celtic Woman
Loving: Sleep!
Loathing: allergies
Wanting: 30 hour days
Saying: GAH!
Avoiding: as much stupidity as possible (a Herculean effort)
Lost Prophecies:
Welcome to the one procratination tool I have left. I'm an overworked, underpaid English teacher. I do, however, love my job. Seriously, I really do. Anyhow, this blog started in my grad school days. I'm currently redoing it to reflect my new position in life. Enjoy!
The Faerie Ring:
"Mom" - My mom who is the most wonderful mom in the world! We hang out together and go to craft shows.
"Dad" - My dad who pretends to be a hunter/mountain man. He makes good grouse and is convinced pizza is health food.
"Glitter Sister" - My sister who can be distracted by sale tags and sparkly objects. She's 20.
"Survivor Uncle" - One of my two uncles who feed me on Thursdays while watching Survivor. He likes Donny Osmond a little too much.
"Alliance Uncle" - Survivor Uncle's partner. We have an alliance and kick people off islands.
"The Tilted Dog" - Lucie, the cutest dog in the whole world. She's afraid of the kitchen and likes to chase squirrels. She also leans to the left when she has an ear infection.
Tell Me a Tale:
Witch Web:
moon phases
be sorted @ nimbo.net
